Sunday March 19th, 12:48:34 pm.
To Thomas Matikainen.
Just thought you should know about this too.
You are perfect in ways that no one else seems to see. And maybe you are not perfect to everyone, but you are a to that select few: that few that like to look into your eyes and that find comfort in the tones of your voice. You are perfect to those that find mystery in your mind, in your habits, in the laughter that spills out between your lips unexpectedly. You are perfect in the way you glance at people and the way you stare. In the way your heart ticks, your breath frosts the air on a cold morning, the way you lather your body with soap in the shower. You are perfect, you are perfect, you are perfect.
Please don’t forget it.
Someone got frustrated at me because I won’t give up on you. They said: “isn’t it discouraging?” To not know if we’ll be together, he means.
The only way I can explain it is that it’s not a matter of whether I’m discouraged or someone has to convince me to love you…
Nothing can take away from the fact that I am in love with you. Nothing can change the fact that you are the only person who has ever made me feel this way. This isn’t a contract or a goal I have to accomplish to achieve a prize. There’s nothing to encourage me or discourage the way I feel. It’s just a simple matter of the fact that I love you. So how could I possibly not keep faith and hope? Love isn’t a choice, it’s a choice on what you do with it. And as long as there is hope that we’ll be together, then I’ll be here.
Of course, my co-worker doesn’t get it because like most people, he just wants to date people to not be lonely. So he’s never met the right person yet.
But still. I wish more people understood. I don’t want you so I can stop being alone or to be cared for, I have friends and family who care for me very much. I don’t mind being alone, of course I’d rather be with you. But it’s not my reason for why I want to be with you.
I just don’t understand why they can’t understand that I want to be with you because I love you. I love your smile, your eyes, your voice, your personality, your mind, your heart, just you. It’s you I want to wake up to and go to bed with. It’s you I want to talk to about everything and nothing with. It’s you I want to know every which way. It’s you. No one else is YOU and could ever be YOU.
So where’s the logic in being with just anybody who may or may not have the same interests as me? I don’t even care if they care about me, if they’re attracted to me, or if they think they love me. They’re not you.
Everything about romance and relationships and partnership and all of that is meaningless if it’s not the right person, if it’s not you.
It’s only you.
Yes, I’m lonely. I’m sad. I’m frustrated (not at you, but the circumstance) but I’d rather be missing you every second of the day and waiting for you than to be with anyone else ever. Anyone else would be a waste of time.
You’re it. You’re my person.
So I keep faith and hope that my love is enough to make you stay.
Biscuits and sparkles,