7 Façons pour les filles de soyez en sécurité lorsque vous exécutez à l’extérieur de solo.

Sortir pour un solo run est un moment idéal pour se refléter, videz votre esprit et se concentrer sur vos objectifs, mais il est important d’être en sécurité.

 

Si vous pouvez exécuter dans la lumière du jour avec des gens autour de lui est toujours plus sûr. Vous pouvez aussi porter le matériel réfléchissant, visible pour s’assurer que les gens vous voient lorsque vous exécutez. Également amener votre téléphone portable, argent et même de poivre de Cayenne peuvent vous aider dans une impasse.

 

C’est toujours mieux prévenir que guérir lors de l’exécution à l’extérieur seulement. Donc faire les bons choix pour obtenir un excellent entraînement sans compromettre la sécurité avec ces conseils!

 

1. EXÉCUTER EN PLEIN JOUR

En choisissant de courir dans la lumière du jour vous sentir plus en sécurité, être moins susceptibles de tomber, et les prédateurs sont moins susceptibles d’attaquer.

Il est important de toujours se concentrer sur demain non seulement aujourd’hui et choisir d’être en sécurité est indispensable à un bel avenir! Ainsi fonctionner lorsqu’il est clair, si votre emploi du temps le permet.

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2.  EXÉCUTEZ À ZONES COMMUNAUTAIRES

Dirigez-vous vers votre parc local pour un cours en cours d’exécution mesuré sur avec les autres coureurs les, les randonneurs et les vététistes près.

Si vous choisissez d’exécuter dans les zones communautaires, vous serez moins susceptible de se heurter à des problèmes avec votre sécurité et vous vous sentirez plus à l’aise. Parfois, j’aime courir autour du parc, car c’est une région pittoresque et contrôlée où vous n’avez pas à vous soucier des voitures va sur votre parcours.

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3. APPORTEZ VOTRE TÉLÉPHONE CELLULAIRE

Apportez votre téléphone portable pour écouter de la musique, le réglage de volume faible pour être sûr, et aussi si vous avez accès à téléphoner si vous avez besoin de. J’écoute de la musique sur les haut-parleurs au lieu d’écouteurs parce que, alors que je suis conscient de mon environnement.

Si vous rencontrez des problèmes de sécurité, un téléphone peut vous faire économiser.

 

 

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Exécuter en plein jour!!!

 

4. TOTE LE LONG DE SPRAY AU POIVRE
Être en sécurité et se sentent super sécurisé en exécutant avec spray au poivre. Si un attaquant vous confronte, n’ayez pas peur parce que vous êtes armés et prêts à vous protéger. Pensez sécurité première et vous pouvez exécuter avec confort et facilité, sachant que vous êtes armé.

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5. LAISSER UN AMI OU UN MEMBRE DE LA FAMILLE CONNAÎTRE VOTRE ITINÉRAIRE

Ne pas juste faire fonctionner dehors aveuglément.

 

Informez un ami ou un parent membre votre itinéraire en cours d’exécution et environ combien de temps vous allez être. Si vous prenez plus de temps que prévu, ils sauront où vous trouver par le cours de conduite. Et puis vous aurez une autre série d’yeux veiller sur vous.

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6. PORTEZ LES ÉQUIPEMENTS RÉFLÉCHISSANTS

Exécuter avec équipement réfléchissant sur, surtout dans les heures plus tôt ou plus tard dans la journée. Vous voulez être en sécurité et s’assurer que les conducteurs vous voient donc aussi s’assurer de porter des couleurs vives visibles.

 

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7. APPORTER DE L’ARGENT

J’apporte toujours le long d’un billet de vingt dollars rentré dans ma chaussure, juste au cas où ma glycémie tombe et j’ai faim ou il y a une situation d’urgence. Juste Assurez-vous que lorsque vous jetez vos chaussures car ils ne sont plus bons; vous ne jetez pas l’argent à l’intérieur aussi bien.

 

Alors allez-y et profitez de votre course solo mais assurez-vous d’être en sécurité, intelligents et planifier à l’avance. Vous créez votre avenir par les choix que vous ferez.

 

Alors, soyez intelligent et ont une très belle course!

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c’est moi. lol.

 

à bientôt x

 

 

 

Biscuits and Sparkles,

Angie.

 

Island in the sun

June 2nd, 2017. 09:29pm

Hi babe! x

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Yes.

You probably thought about the song and it’s okay cause that’s exactly what I’m going to talk about. Let alone the fact you once mentioned a few months ago you wanted me to write another blog post referring to a line of this song we both know and like. It took me long enough to write this, mainly because I didn’t really know what to say although the song makes me feel a million things. After all, it reminds me of you. 

I am still deciding whether or not I should make this public, if I should let you read what I think or what springs to my mind every time I listen to this song, simply hear the name of it, or when someone asks me about you. It’s all connected. I don’t want you to get confused, it’s just my perspective. And I’m not going to analyze this the way we analyze a poem, line by line, feeling by feeling.

No.

Just let me explain…

The way I see it, it’s pretty simple. An island in the sun, pretty cliché if you ask me but holds a deep meaning behind once you get into my mind or try to see things my way. I don’t know about you, but what if it really is a sanctuary? 

Whaaaaaaaaat? What is she talking about? 

You may think. 

But what about a sanctuary one person only finds through relationships? I guess I came up with this because I honestly spent so long looking for that someone. For someone to make me feel loved, protected, special, cared about, beautiful. In less words, I spent so much time looking for someone that makes me feel like home.

I’m comparing the term “home” with “sanctuary”. It’s exactly the same. You make me feel protected, safe. I can be myself and never get judged, I can say what I think or believe and you’ll listen no matter what. I cry, I laugh, I smile, I scream and you still stay. I may probably be one of the most annoying, loud and sensitive girls there are on Earth but you stand by me, support me, and put up with my silly attitude. I tell bad jokes, my humour is very stupid and most of the time it never makes sense. Yet you laugh and smile radiantly.

Every time you smile, I feel like I’ve won the lottery. Such a big prize. Almost standing up from my seat and receiving an Oscar for making the most wonderful guy there is in my world smile.

When I’m nearly falling asleep I find myself texting you nonsense stuff about things that probably don’t exist and you still read those and pretend you know what I’m talking about just because. You are my best friend Tom, you are someone I can rely on, the one who even being a thousand miles away stays by my side unconditionally and makes me feel like I matter.


I never imagined I would fall so far into love. I never really imagined I would ever find love at all, like I mentioned before. The kind of love that people dream of, the kind of love that stories are written about and romances are based on. The kind of love that people can only hope to find in the course of their lives. This kind of love I never expected to find, not in my whole life, let alone at such a young age. But the love we share is that of dreams. The kind of connection that two people can only dream of. And I feel so proud to have you. With the chances weighed so heavily against me, like a faint beautiful reflection in a dull mirror. I have you, and I am so lucky to know you.

I love you so much. I want you to know that. We’re both broken, beautifully imperfect. Beautiful wrecks. And that’s what love is, loving someone in spite of their imperfections because they somehow complete you. And you do complete me. I won’t relent loving you. Despite our fights, arguments, our disagreements and our disputes we may have in the future. My love for you recognizes no barriers, it will jump hurdles, leap fences and break down walls.

My love for you knows no distance. I know I get break downs often and cry about you not being here or me being there but just know that I’m patient enough to wait for us to finally be together. To hold each other and feel each other close. I know you are patient too. It hurts and of course it is not easy, but I am sure it’s worth it. 

No unit or measurement has ever been invented to gauge just how much love the heart can hold, but I truly feel like I am pushing the limits. Before I met you I was not aware my heart was capable of feeding such love, but you have evoked the best of me. 


I also thought about me being there, you know? After all the first thing that comes to our minds –for the one’s who have never been to ‘straya- when we mention Australia is basically an island under the sun. I’m serious. HOT enough for our blood to boil in three seconds. Or so I believe.

Once you asked me to listen to it I said “oh wow, the song probably talks about his country” but after listening to it, all I could think of as I carefully analyzed each line was “I want to be there”. I pictured myself finally taking the plane, landing, and ringing you telling you I was already there. Happiness overload, tears for sure ran down my cheeks as I listened and your smiley face kept showing up in my head saying that it will all be okay in the end and that we will both enjoy being together.

Away from any problem, away from the frustration, the sadness. Everything we sometimes feel at the thought of us being so far away from each other. It will all disappear. We will be okay and we’ll know it is worth it. We are worth it baby. 


The song to me, is inspiring. It is because that means that all we as people need to feel better is each other.

You’re my island in the sun.

We are all each other’s islands in the sun.                    Unknown-1

Unknown

Biscuits and sparkles,

Your girl.

 

You are my person.

Sunday March 19th, 12:48:34 pm. 

To Thomas Matikainen. 

Just thought you should know about this too.

You are perfect in ways that no one else seems to see. And maybe you are not perfect to everyone, but you are a to that select few: that few that like to look into your eyes and that find comfort in the tones of your voice. You are perfect to those that find mystery in your mind, in your habits, in the laughter that spills out between your lips unexpectedly. You are perfect in the way you glance at people and the way you stare. In the way your heart ticks, your breath frosts the air on a cold morning, the way you lather your body with soap in the shower. You are perfect, you are perfect, you are perfect.

Please don’t forget it.

Someone got frustrated at me because I won’t give up on you. They said: “isn’t it discouraging?” To not know if we’ll be together, he means.

The only way I can explain it is that it’s not a matter of whether I’m discouraged or someone has to convince me to love you…

Nothing can take away from the fact that I am in love with you. Nothing can change the fact that you are the only person who has ever made me feel this way. This isn’t a contract or a goal I have to accomplish to achieve a prize. There’s nothing to encourage me or discourage the way I feel. It’s just a simple matter of the fact that I love you. So how could I possibly not keep faith and hope? Love isn’t a choice, it’s a choice on what you do with it. And as long as there is hope that we’ll be together, then I’ll be here.

Of course, my co-worker doesn’t get it because like most people, he just wants to date people to not be lonely. So he’s never met the right person yet.

But still. I wish more people understood. I don’t want you so I can stop being alone or to be cared for, I have friends and family who care for me very much. I don’t mind being alone, of course I’d rather be with you. But it’s not my reason for why I want to be with you.

I just don’t understand why they can’t understand that I want to be with you because I love you. I love your smile, your eyes, your voice, your personality, your mind, your heart, just you. It’s you I want to wake up to and go to bed with. It’s you I want to talk to about everything and nothing with. It’s you I want to know every which way. It’s you. No one else is YOU and could ever be YOU.

So where’s the logic in being with just anybody who may or may not have the same interests as me? I don’t even care if they care about me, if they’re attracted to me, or if they think they love me. They’re not you.

Everything about romance and relationships and partnership and all of that is meaningless if it’s not the right person, if it’s not you.

It’s only you.

Yes, I’m lonely. I’m sad. I’m frustrated (not at you, but the circumstance) but I’d rather be missing you every second of the day and waiting for you than to be with anyone else ever. Anyone else would be a waste of time.

You’re it. You’re my person.

So I keep faith and hope that my love is enough to make you stay.

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Biscuits and sparkles,

Angie.

Tom Matikainen; you’re my hero

You are more than I hoped to find, and I am so grateful for you.

February 14th, 2017 

Dear Tom,

I spent days writing this. I have been quite frustrated by the fact that I am not “that” allowed to mail stuff to your place the way you did. I felt pretty upset cause I can’t do much when it comes to special days like… exactly today. Today marks not only Valentine’s day to you but also two months since we first started talking -also a little reminder that it was the 14th to me when you first texted although it was the 15th to you. Bit messed up but I guess you understand.

My point is, this is what I can actually do for you.

I stutter a lot when we are on the phone, I swallow some words when we talk and that’s mainly cause I get nervous around you, in a good way. I am always writing about you whenever I find time to and I wanted to let you know how much my life has changed ever since you came into my life. I know this is not that good, -maybe it is- but I do this because I love you so so so so so soooooo much.

Take this little post as a pressie or just as some other letter, it’s up to you. I just need you to understand how proud I am to have you and how much I love you. Get ready cause here it goes baby.

You know what’s indescribable? My love for you. It goes beyond my own grasp of understanding. It reaches past anything I have ever felt before. It grows and encompasses everything. There are no suitable words in this language that I could possibly string together to describe it. This kind of love isn’t always easy. Each day doesn’t end like the ones where our bodies are curled together, quietly sharing every thought and story we can think of. Too many days end in one minute phone calls or unread messages, the feeling of constantly missing someone, tears, anger, and loneliness. But in those days my love for you still grows. I am working on trying to make those bad days few and far between. It is an incredible challenge, but it is one that I do not intend to lose for the sake of this love.

Your deep bright blue eyes sparkle, your shiny blonde hair that I want to run my hands through, your soft voice that can coax me to be kind instead of playing tricks like I usually do. Your jokes, puns, and nicknames never cease to make me laugh. Your cute little smile that opens up like a present. I never get tired of seeing it, and when you really laugh, I laugh too cause your happiness is contagious.

You.

I’m beginning to think you are the one I want.

You saved me in so many ways.

You came along at such an unexpected time. That time everyone tells you will eventually come, but you never truly believe will. When you’re still reminiscing through the old photos of you and the one who decided to walk out the door, trying painfully to push them out of your consciousness. When you think you are irreparably broken. When no amount of glue, or duct tape, or comforting words from your friends ever seem to be enough to make you feel whole. And when that kind of pain cuts deeper than any knife can, isn’t that what we all want? To feel a little more whole and a little less broken?

And then in some sort of cosmic intervention, there you were.

There you were, and I asked myself a million times how our paths couldn’t have crossed before. How someone like you had been hidden away from me for so long. I quickly decided it was because something as good as you wasn’t supposed to be experienced right away, as I would have needed more time to make my mistakes and have my heart broken before I could be truly ready for you. One look at you, and somehow I knew your smile would ruin me, and it was the beginning of the end of life as I had known it in my past. A life that felt like a blur of meaningless instances from one to the next, now had significance again.

Suddenly, I found myself smiling just a little more for no reason, wondering what you were doing in that exact moment I was sitting and thinking of you. Laughing out loud at your witty and sarcastic comebacks, in a way that I almost forgot I still could. Deliberating in my own mind how something could actually feel this good again. I wanted to dive head first into a love with you that consumed me, and the way you carefully took your time was hard for the impatient person in me to understand in that moment. You made me remember just how blissful and heavenly that feeling of falling for someone was, and how something so good just shouldn’t be rushed. You got to know me, cautiously yet vigilantly. At times you even felt too good to be true.

But there you were, bravely deciding you wouldn’t run, even though every fiber of your being reminded you how terrifying it was to open yourself up to the possibility that I could destroy you — the way someone else once did. I understand that. I was terrified, too. But you stayed, while I tirelessly worked to pick up all the shattered pieces of my soul and put them back together.

I think the reason people feel broken is because when love is lost, a part of us really does break. Like a part of our brain being deprived of oxygen, we find it hard to breathe, hard to get out of bed in the morning, hard to make meaning in what we used to. And then something or someone comes along, and injects a shot of lightning into our lifeless souls, and slowly but surely, we wake from that dream. We learn how to put one foot in front of the other, and see the significance in the smallest of joys. The broken parts of us get the fixing they need. And you did that for me.

Sometimes the light within us dims. And then by fate or chance, or maybe even luck, someone like you shows me that that light can burn bright once again. So thank you for fixing me. Thank you for fixing what I thought was permanently broken. Thank you for not running away when you found me damaged and less than complete. Thank you for reminding me what it feels like to be whole. You may never know how much you truly saved me. But I hope that every day I offer you my mended heart, as dented and bruised as it may be, you know that it’s yours. It’s the most precious gift I could ever give you. And maybe the light that now shines bright in me will help yours burn a little brighter too.

I am not quite sure I know what is different with you, but you make me feel like I’ve finally been found. You make my heart begin to fizz and bubble and jump – I feel myself falling more and more in love with you everyday. You make me wanna be better and I promise that I will be, for you.

The sound your kisses make through a phone call left me spinning and I swear your lips taste like stardust. I swear for a minute, I could fly. The warmth of your smile makes me feel like I am the sun, beaming and shining. I don’t know what I did to deserve you but please, don’t disappear into the night sky and find a galaxy that suits you more. Stay with me and let’s create constellations and name them after ourselves; let’s be the moon and the sun, the asteroids and the comets- black matter and the vastness of space.

Happy Valentine’s day baby, and thanks for being my hero.

ps. This is not part of the surprise I talked about yesterday. I asked you to forget about it but just so you know.

Rockets and Rainbows,

Your little girl.

To my Aussie boy

January 26th, 2017.

To the boy who makes my heart pump faster; I love you.

I always will.

Your deep blue eyes torment me, my fingers crave to touch your hair. Please forgive me for what I feel, please forgive me because I need you everyday, just a little bit of you.

Dear Tom:

When I’m with you I’m so high, but when I’m without you, I keep feeling let down. I don’t know if the lows feel so low because they truly are or if it is because the highs are so high I come crashing down for the tiniest things. You got me feeling some type of way. And by that, I mean; I am a giggling awkward mess, but it’s okay because I’m sure the sky has never looked so blue and my cheeks hurt so much from smiling and these are the problems people should have in their lives. I am so glad I met you.

You amaze me every single day. The way you talk, the way you laugh. The way you make time for me no matter how busy you might be. The way your happiness becomes contagious even when I am having a bad day. It’s those late night phone calls I get that I would never regret, those phone calls that always make my day. It’s the effort I put every night, call me crazy; but I set six alarms every hour from 12am so I can text you back or at least have a few minutes more with you. It’s those smiles you draw on my face, the silent moments, the slight and awkward giggle when you say something funny, the one you can’t really hear. It’s the happy tears that run down my face when you compliment me, when you say I’m beautiful or when you say you want to spend the rest of your life with me.

I’ve never felt this way about anyone, I may have been close to that feeling with someone before but I swear, nothing as good and as close as what I am feeling for you right now. Everything just feels right when I’m with you, it doesn’t matter if it’s only you behind a screen. You have helped me so much. You gave me hope when no one else could, you made me see life from a different angle, suddenly; everything looked beautiful.

You helped me gain confidence in myself. I no longer have to hide who I really am, I can actually be my own self and know you won’t judge me. Even when I send a selfie that I don’t like that much or when I find myself ugly or wearing an oversized jumper along with a messy bun, you say I look beautiful. The way you look at me is something so amazing that I can never find the right words to describe the feeling. I even forget how to speak English when I’m in front of you. I smile a lot, my cheeks turn red and start burning… you never fail to make me feel loved.

Like you once said, “that person has always been out there, you just had to find it”

I couldn’t agree more. I’m guessing that someone is you. 

I finally found someone that looks at me as if I were the one who puts the stars in the sky. I finally found someone that has no problem giving me something that he might not get back, which is his time. I finally found someone that makes time to hear my voice or just to hear about my day. Sometimes, when I become speechless; he only listens to my breathing or my awkward sounds when I think of something funny during the call… he actually stays and talks to me.

I finally found someone that loves me for who I am and I couldn’t be happier.                          That someone, is you. Tom Matikainen.

I love you so unbelievably much and my heart feels like exploding every time I look at you or listen to that beautiful voice of yours that sometimes ends up taking my breath away.

We can do this, I know for sure.

I will love you forever, no matter what.

ps. I love you babyyyy x

Rockets and Rainbows,

Angie.

My 2017 goals

I’ve seen many bloggers do this and I decided to give it a try. After all this is something we all have done, setting goals for each one of us every single year. Some of us actually manage to complete them, while others try and some others may completely forget about them or give up cause they seem impossible. Last year I managed to complete 50% of them, which is seriously a sad outcome. Here’s to the 2017, new year, new goals, new aspirations that I am glad to share with you all. Here it goes!!

  1.  Get good grades.

Moving to a different city and going to a school full of people you don’t really know anything about is a hard task. Many things distracted me last year about this, mostly because I was more focused on a guy and trying to make friends that I completely forgot the whole purpose about school. So dear future self, LET’S GET GOOD GRADES!!

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2. Enjoy my senior year.

As I mentioned before, moving to a different place is not easy. Not when nobody knows anything about you or when people aren’t willing to befriend you. It is hard as hell. Trying to fit in, make friends and being social are definitely not my forte. Making new friends has never been hard for me cause I’m really picky when it comes to friendships. I’ve been let down so many times by people I never thought would and that’s what I am working on. Enjoying my last high school year no matter what, whatever happens, happens.

Life is a rollercoaster that only goes up my frieeeeend…

3. Get into that Australian uni.

That is my most important goal, but I placed it as a third option cause it’s a bit less important than high school right now, gotta survive senior year first! My plan is to move to Australia as soon as I get enough money to pay for it. Considering Raffles, Whitehouse Institute of Design, UTS, and TAFE. Those are my top 4 and might also want to add Curtin Uni. Got to get good grades for that and lots of effort, I’d really love to develop my skills.

4. Start my Youtube channel (my own)

Yes I have posted some videos using my friend’s account but I might want to take it to the next level and create one of my own in which I could actually post my own stuff and basically do whatever I want. I have sort of an idea of what my channel might be about but I really need to work on that too so… let’s make it a double goal here.

5. Finish reading some booksfullsizeoutput_123

Sounds a bit silly but I started reading a saga three years ago now and haven’t finished reading the fourth book… Hush Hush’s saga seems impossible to finish mostly because I don’t have enough time to or simple forget that book exists. I really want to know how it ends so that’s also a goal I should keep in mind.

6. Travel!

fullsizeoutput_124This one’s a bit specific though, but I’d love to travel as much as possible. Right now my main goal is to get to Sydney, Australia. Have already booked some trips to the most beautiful beaches in México, yaaaay!

 

7. Enjoy my job 

Working so many shifts in different days is hard. But it becomes harder when each one of them last around 8 hours. My main goal is to actually enjoy it, I chose that job because I love doing that and people seriously appreciate what I do. Let’s get to work, get enough money and go wherever I want to, aka. kangaroo land, aka. Australia.

8. Be there for him.


Yes you, I’m talking about you. To the ones who don’t have a clue of what I am talking about just know this last goal is dedicated to someone that happens to be real special to me and someone I really care about. I know we fullsizeoutput_128met online, I know sometimes we don’t talk that much because the time zonings are horrendous -you being 17 hours ahead of me is not that rad- but I promise I’ll be there for you as much as I can. So, kangaroo land boy, you know this is about you.

 

 

 

I’ll see you in Australia soon!!

SPOILER ALERT: I might get there by September and if not, hopefully by January 2018. -Need to fix my visa, eeek-  I love you.fullsizeoutput_122.jpeg

Biscuits and Sparkles,

Angie.

The plane ticket will be one way.

“If I am in love with you, I will love all of you. Even if you’re far at distance, even when it gets hard, maybe even when you have betrayed me. I am in love with everything that makes you, you. I love your pain, your suffering, all of your sadness along with how mad you can get at silly stuff, or how jealous you get when other boys want to talk to me. But just know I am in love with you. And I will always want just you”

December 27th, 2016. 14:44

To whom it may concern…

Long distance relationships.

Three words.

Twenty three letters.

Seven syllables.

 

To you, it may seem like nothing, but to someone else, it’s something big, and beautiful. It starts off as a simple, innocent message with the intent of finding someone interesting to talk to. When you first send the message, you’re excited, because you find the person attractive in one way or another, but think little of it, because of course, at first glance you wouldn’t just assume you’re gonna date someone from another country. At first, you just talk casually, trying to keep the conversation going, but the awkwardness just keeps growing more and more. That is, until you find (a) common interest(s), and then the conversation sparks. Thoughts are flying in every direction, and without even knowing it, you’re already growing attached to this person.

They brighten your days. They show you the good in the bad. They show you things from a different perspective. And they make you so incredibly happy. With all the good, there has to be some bad. After the thrill of realizing you have that special someone wears off, the fighting kicks in, and the strength of your relationship is questioned. You think back to the beginning, and how it felt like you were on a high. You think that it’s crazy how quickly things can change. You want to give up, throw in the towel, brush off the sadness. but you can’t. because you realize that without that person, the darkness would drown you. They’re your life preserver, and without them, the impending waves would take you under before you have the chance to take a breathe. They annoy you to no end. They make you so mad that you have to force yourself to relax. They make you sad. So, so sad. That you can feel it crawling up your throat from your chest. But you can’t give up. because giving up would mean giving in, and if the other person hasn’t yet, that must mean that there’s still some hope, right? After all the fighting, you realize that you’re so connected to the other, on an emotional level, that the thoughts from before of letting go, make you feel like a complete idiot. Within the span of months, or even weeks, they’ve become your everything. And you never have to worry with them. You could look like complete crap, and they wouldn’t care. Mostly because they aren’t there to see it, but also, because they’re too in love with you’re very being, to care.

This is why when people say dating someone far away is dumb, I have to disagree.

Yes, it’s hard to be in a long distance relationship because of not being together physically and not feeling each other’s presence. You cannot hold each other’s hand neither kiss and hug. You cannot see one another whenever you wanted and needed to. You cannot do things together like the normal couple does. You’ll still miss each other even though you talk all night long, sadness will remain on heart after your conversation because you’re longing for real conversation and wanting to feel how it’s like being done face-to-face. You cannot eat pizzas, burgers or fries together whenever you’re hungry. When one’s sick, you cannot take care, give medicines and be with each other for the rest of the night. You cannot serenade and give goodnight and good morning kisses. You cannot watch him/her fall asleep by your side. You cannot go to places you wanted and spend hours together. You cannot feel how these things are done in a real world, in a real presence, in reality. But still, you know that one day you will.

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Biscuits and Sparkles,

Angie.

For anyone tending a broken heart

“Leaving is not enough. You must stay gone. Train your heart like a dog. Change the locks even on the house he’s never visited. You lucky, lucky girl. You have an apartment just your size. A bathtub full of tea. A heart the size of Arizona, but not nearly so arid. Don’t wish away your cracked past, your crooked toes, your problems are papier mache puppets you made or bought because the vendor at the market was so compelling you just had to have them. You had to have him. And you did. And now you pull down the bridge between your houses, you make him call before he visits, you take a lover for granted, you take a lover who looks at you like maybe you are magic. Make the first bottle you consume in this place a relic. Place it on whatever altar you fashion… Don’t lose too much weight. Stupid girls are always trying to disappear as revenge. And you are not stupid. You loved a man with more hands than a parade of beggars, and here you stand. Heart like a four-poster bed. Heart like a canvas. Heart leaking something so strong they can smell it in the street.”

(Frida Kahlo to Marty McConnell) – Marty McConnell.

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I’ve spent three years building a wall. A wall to prohibit hurtful words and heartbreak. I built it so I wouldn’t feel, never dreaming I’d actually accomplish the feat.

I did. I built a wall so high, so wide it kept everything out— heartbreak, anger, jealousy, grief and the good things like love, affection, kindness. This wall I dreamed of, it destroyed the emotional element that makes my person who I am. Until recently, that was okay. My focus centered on school, both athletic performance and academic superiority. Inability to properly display emotion didn’t matter.

Except now it does. I’ve got a crush, and more importantly friendships to cultivate. But, if I’m honest I’m not quite sure how to do so. I want to say “I love you, I care about you” but the words die in my throat or end up getting deleted moments after I type them out. I want to display my affections through actions and touch yet my body won’t move. Not for him, not for them.

It’s a curious thing, this inability or more specifically this internal struggle. Things I used to be able to say and do with ease are now so foreign my brain struggles to comprehend it, let alone actually do it. I’m having to just spit it out and try not to cringe as I do so.

I don’t want to fear emotion, I want to feel. I want to feel sincerely. I want to be able to tell people they’re appreciated and loved, and not feel like I just uttered the dumbest, most illogical statement in the world because love is strong and there’s nothing less about it.

So it’s been three years of solitude, of nothingness and I want to tell you it did absolutely nothing for me (perhaps I’ve been more into self-discovery but the wall isn’t necessary for that) and now I’ve just got to reintroduce emotion— the legitimacy of feeling back into my life, it’s going to be a long road.

So from me to you: don’t build it. No matter how much it hurts, embrace the hurt. Cry, scream if you must, but don’t built the damn wall. It’s only going to hurt you long term. Embrace the emotions you possess, they are the gateway to love and living your life in the fullest sense.

Biscuits and sparkles,

Angie.

Register to vote!

Hey guys!!!!

Just a quick reminder to get out and vote as soon as you can.

It is so so so important to use the wonderful, amazing right that many before us fought for in allowing women the right to vote. It is now you’re turn to exercise that right and go out & vote!!!!

You can find out what the rules for your state are here.

You can vote here:

1.  Teen Vogue

2. Usa.Gov

3. DMV.NY.GOV (for New Yorkers only)

img_8685Rockets and Rainbows,

 

Angie.

Love yourself(ie)

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So, the new thing is selfies.

I guess I can’t fully sit here and say that I’m all about selfies, when I’ve only posted a few selfies on social media. However, my camera roll is embarrassingly flooded with intense and silly photos of myself. Throughout the past 2 years, selfies have gone from unspoken of, because people thought they were so basic, to almost completely acceptable.

The catch, though, apparently if you post too many selfies you’re conceited. And if you dont post any photos of yourself, you’re insecure! As any other thing in our society, there are loop holes. There’s never a “perfect” balance between too little or too much. People tell you to post pictures of yourself, but too many, the horror (!!), is embarrassing.

I’m going to disregard the idea that posting too

many selfies is embarrassing, and instead give you tools to post your selfies regardless of other’s opinions.

My friends have constantly told me to post more pictures of myself on social media, however, I’m always super embraced about posting photos of myself.

Why should I be?

1) If I am even considering the picture, then I obviously know I look pretty good, 2) Who cares if I only get xx amount of likes…. its a photo and if I want to share it then it should be there.

Although posting selfies can make one super self conscious, they can also be used as told of empowerment. After opening yourself up to the world, by sharing your picture on your face on social media, you’re showing people that you’re comfortable and confident in the skin you are in. By doing this, you’re saying, “yeah I’m dope!” to anyone who sees it.

So, the next time you’re debating posting a selfie or another picture of your dog, remind yourself you’re enough for the world. You are amazing. Everyone else deserves to see it too.

Rockets and Rainbows,

Angie.

Be confident!

Let’s imagine that you have a friend who can be really critical. She lets you know when you’ve put on a few extra pounds. She makes you lose confidence right before an important presentation. She points out your flaws and reminds you when you’re not doing as well as others. If you had a friend like that, you’d kick her to the curb, right?! No one needs that negativity in their life! So, if we wouldn’t accept this criticism from our friends, why do we accept it from ourselves?
We let ourselves get away with a surprising amount of negative self-talk. Sometimes it happens so often that it becomes background noise, but this kind of criticism can be seriously damaging to your self-confidence. So what can you do to silence your inner critic? Here are five insightful tips:

1. LISTEN TO YOUR NEGATIVE THOUGHTS

This may seem counter-intuitive, but you can only silence your inner critic when you’re actually aware of it. I don’t mean feeding into it, but trying to listen as objectively as possible to those negative voices. A lot of times those negative thoughts stem from insecurities that are unmerited. Take the time to actually listen to what you’re telling yourself and you’ll find that oftentimes, those criticisms are silly. Actively listening to your negative talk will reveal that most of your criticisms are undeserved and ridiculous. If you wouldn’t say it to a friend, why say it to yourself?

 

2. GET PRODUCTIVE

Although some of our negative thoughts are unwarranted and overly judgmental, some of that criticism is toward real issues that need to be addressed. If there are certain parts of your life that you know need improving, do something about it. Don’t give yourself ammo for negative self-talk. There’s nothing worse than that nagging voice in your head that yet again you’re late on your deadline. And because you know it’s true, it can lead to a downward spiral of continually criticizing yourself.

Being nasty to yourself is never okay and it’s certainly not productive. Instead, take tangible steps to improve. Set goals and track your progress. Even if it’s baby steps, gradually improving yourself will replace negative thoughts with positive ones and ultimately silence your inner critic.

3. RE-THINK HOW YOU SEE OTHER PEOPLE

Negative thoughts of any sort are toxic to your soul. If you allow yourself to be critical and judgmental of others (admit it, we’ve all been there!), you’re only setting yourself up with the mentality that it’s okay to be critical of yourself, too. Hold off on gossip and stay away from rash judgments that may seem harmless. Feeding into the negativity will only come around to bite you in the butt.

4. ASK YOURSELF THIS QUESTION

Not sure if you’re being too critical of yourself? Life coach Tony Teegarden recommends asking this one question: Would you say this to your five year old self? Would you tell your five-year-old self that they’re not smart enough, that they’re overweight or untalented? Of course not! You’d tell them to believe in themselves and that they can do anything they set their mind to. So, if you wouldn’t dare be so negative to your younger self, why do it now? Self-confidence can be fragile at any age and we need to be sure to that we’re doing everything we can to support ourselves.


5. REMIND YOURSELF OF HOW AWESOME YOU ARE

Sometimes the only way to silence your inner critic is to drown it out with positive statements. It doesn’t have to be as hokey as telling yourself positive affirmations in the mirror. But giving yourself a little pep talk when you’re really getting critical can do wonders. I actually keep a little letter tucked in my wallet that lists my strengths. Whenever I start that negative self-talk, I pop out my letter and remind myself what a strong, confident and capable woman I am. It’s not about bragging or trying to inflate your ego, it’s about being honest with yourself about what you do well. Sometimes we all need a little reminder that we’re capable people who can take on whatever life throws at us!

 

Biscuits and Sparkles,

Angie.

Time means nothing when love is everything. 

For you, Drew.

All of my letters to you in the past have been filled with love, affection, and desperation. This one won’t be. However, that doesn’t mean that I still don’t feel all of those things towards you and, regarding you in some way.

It’s difficult to put into words what we have been through and what it all means. You were a great love in my life -perhaps you still might be- not the love of my life (if there is such a thing), but a big one. One I’ll remember, one I’ll cherish, one I’ll tell my grandchildren about. Our love was dramatic, chaotic, passionate, but most of all – toxic.

My love for you made me sick and losing it made me even sicker. I forgot who I was when I was with you and then when I was without you, I could only focus on getting you back but I never had the nerve to make the first move. I couldn’t see the bigger picture. I couldn’t see that I was torturing myself by trying to hold onto something that was gone. I couldn’t see that I was losing my mind trying to find “us”.

Yes, we both agreed on being friends, I know Drew. I know. But it’s too hard for me to be friends with you when the only thing that crosses my mind is a picture of us being together, having a life together. I am not going to say you don’t, maybe you do, I don’t know; but, maybe for you it’s easy to be friends with me because you already have someone you can love, someone close to you, someone you can hold, kiss, someone that helps you forget about the whole universe when you are with her, but even if I had someone too I wouldn’t be able to get over you because I simply don’t think that’s possible. You own a very big part of me, and I really hope you understand this.

I will wait for you, but please, just please don’t be a jerk. I am going to be honest; my friends saw that text you sent earlier at 1:06am, they thought it was ridiculous. They took my phone away because they know how stupid I get waiting for a text from you just saying hi and saying you want to be with me. They read that. And yeah… soz for being hopeful. They think you are an attention seeker, they think you wanted me to get jealous and eventually hated you because you looked like a jerk, wanker, tosser, twat… and so on.

I refuse to believe that because I’m blind. Because I can’t find any flaw in your clueless-self. I want my friends to like you, they have always been there for me when you haven’t. Please, don’t be a jerk.

I can’t and won’t put all of the blame on myself though. You knew very well that you were leading me on to believe that I still had a chance with you. You never really let go of me, I still don’t know if you have. When I would give you the space that you asked for, you would chase after me and get mad at me for “leaving”. You would tell me then how much you missed me and how you wished you could hold me. Then I would come crawling back, we’d talk again, ask about each other’s day and then you’d tell me you need space again, that we actually need to “try to be friends”. We were never friends, Drew, we weren’t friends before we even met. I don’t think we are friends now and I’m afraid we’ll never be. I liked you from the very beggining and I think you did too… we have never been friends.

I don’t necessarily regret the times I came crawling back like a lost puppy. I’m not going to say that staying up until late and talking to you over Skype while eating cheerios and laughing nonstop wasn’t fun. I’m not going to say that falling asleep while we were on a phone call, face to face, didn’t feel like home. And I’m definitely not going to say that all of the laughter, the jokes, the accent challenges we had, the cheesy texts, the good morning/night texts, the unexpected calls, the rekindled love wasn’t beautiful, magical, wasn’t exactly what I needed at the time. It was. It was. It was. But all of that false hope and that fake love was only putting small bandage on the gushing wound that was our demise. It made us feel good and that’s okay. What I regret is that I let myself believe it was real. I honestly thought we were going to be together no matter what. I honestly thought you still loved me, needed me and wanted me. That bandage stunted my healing (our healing) and now I’m so much further behind in moving on than I should be, and I think you might be too.

I know you won’t read this, but I want you to know that I never stopped loving you or wanting you until now, until today. I woke up this morning and realised that the man I fell in love with no longer existed. You are a different person now. You’re cold, and you are jaded. You might look at my chat with spite on your eyes, you might be thinking deep down that I am an absolute nutcase and that you didn’t even know what you were thinking when you first said you loved me. You might resent me. You might even hate me and maybe you don’t but my stupid mind keeps telling me that and that’s what kills me every night because I don’t know everything about you and… however. I think I will always care about you. When you do happen to cross my mind, I will send you light, I will send you gratitude and I will send you my forgiveness. I hope that one day you can think of me and do the same. I will miss you terribly, my big love.

 

I love you, I’ll wait for you.
Biscuits and Sparkles,

Angie.